Missed Opportunity Turns Into A Blessing

Last Sunday, a friend invited me to lunch. This was unusual as I routinely work long hours on Sundays, and do not break until I have ended my day. However, I was finding it difficult to be productive and decided to knock off early. The lunch invite was going to be a perfect escape from a frustrating day.

We decided on Mexican food from a chain restaurant- one that I prefer to visit because a large plate item I always purchase.  Food was ordered, conversation was had…I was starting to feel relaxed and detached from the stress of the day.

Our server was a young woman, maybe in her early twenties, and seemed eager to help us during our lunch. But her performance took a turn for the worse as she continued to serve during our lunchtime. It started with a few minor incidents; my chair was wet- she grabbed a towel to wipe it dry. We did not have utensils. She quickly accommodated our need. These minor incidents were not her fault and she quickly addressed and solved the issue.

As we continued with lunch however, we experienced problems with our meals- missing sides dishes, and serving the appetizers so late that ultimately arrived with the meal. And other problems surfaced. Each of our bills included a beverage that neither of us ordered; we were left another customer’s bill a large currency note attached. My friend was charged for my meal instead of her own. In the grand scheme of things, these problems were minor; however, as someone with decades of customer service experience, I could not help but to give a failing grade of performance to our server. And as a result, I decided not to leave a tip.

Just to be clear, I do not mind tipping and have given large tips, sometime 500% over the cost. But I do not typically tip when the service is poor. I always operated with the belief that you must earn what you get. Nothing is given for free. Our server offended me, I later realized, and I was going to punish her by withholding a tip.

Later that evening, I shared the experience with my mother. Over 30 minutes… I talked about how bad she was, all the mistakes she made, and the clincher- leaving a folder that had a bill AND money from another table. Finally, my mother asked if was going to stop talking about my “bad experience” soon, and followed up with saying that she would have left a tip. Well, this angered me, and I told her that alerting the server to her mistake was my tip. Didn’t she understand the importance of good customer service? What if the money in the folder was HER money? What if I was the type of person that would take the money, and pretend ignorance when the loss was discovered? What if…what if… My mother did not say anything further, and I sulked away. Still, I could not let it go, and I began to examine why I was so angry with the server. Or could it be that I was angry with myself?

After much self-examination and reflection, this is my take away-

I missed an opportunity to bless and encourage someone who was not having a high-performance day. Even more upsetting is I took out my frustration for missed income on my server. Was her performance poor? Yes. Without a doubt. Yet, if I could rewind and do things differently, I would give her a large tip- over fifty percent, tell her that I believe in her tenacity, and encourage her to examine if being a server is the right fit. Working in restaurants and hospitality is hard, yet honest work, but everyone is not cut out for those industries. I would further encourage her to take the risks over security if she has a career dream that seems larger than life. There is no better time than now.

Well, that is what I would have done, and still might do if I go back to that restaurant. My reflection, however exposed another revelation. In the middle of my messiness and selfishness, I realized that God was and is still blessing me! Even as I am writing, I feel His grace and love, and His gentle reminder of the many times I have been blessed, encouraged, and praised- despite falling short, missing the mark, performing poorly or not at all. Too many times to count in fact, and still more than I know about. Just as important, He is reminding me to love and contend for others, especially when they are less than perfect. Spend any time in the Christian circles and you will hear the phrase “Awesome God.” Well, that phrase is inadequate because He is so much more!